The Enso - see description below
Mark and I are going full circle. Well, we thought we had already gone full circle, but to our surprise, we had one more notch to go to complete the radius.
Mark called Nassau home for almost 20 years prior to moving out to a remote island in the Exumas where fate was destined for us to meet. The island was Norman's Cay - population of about 7 people at the time. The ever-changing world of construction swung us around to Bell Island (also in the Exumas) and then Harbour Island, each about 2 year stints. When we got the phone call to come back out to Norman's Cay, we jumped for joy. What were the odds that we'd end up back on the very same island where we met all those years ago? Back to our comfortable social scene and the unending beauty of a very remote corner of the world.
But I certainly believe the universe has something different in store for us. From day one on this crazy development, it has been nothing but trials and tribulations for Mark who was hired as the Project Manager. Mark has an extensive background in out island construction, but it seems that they believed it would be better to ignore his advice and insights then to really let him flourish. Feeling fed up, unappreciated and underutilized he decided to throw in the towel and look for better options. So that means...drum roll please....we're going back to Nassau!
I have always expected (and begged and pleaded) to return to our half-built house in Nassau. From the moment I first stepped foot on that island, it felt like home. Harbour Island did not feel like home, hence why I basically quit writing for the past year. It leeched my creativity, dulled my shine, sucked my soul. But now we are going home. And I am thrilled.
Nassau is not what the rest of the world would probably consider the "real world", even Nassauvians don't consider Nassau to be anything short of third world. Most residents would gladly hop a flight to Miami or New York to get a bit of culture. But for me, all I need are my few favorite restaurants, a decent food store and the basics like a pharmacy, hardware store, gym, etc. Basically anything is a step closer to real world then where I am right now.
I can't express how excited I am to be able to go to a real grocery store and buy things like broccoli, arugula and artichokes, any time of year! I've been living on corn as my staple "vegetable" for the past 3 months, and I'll tell you, the next time I eat corn it will be entirely too soon. Prior to living where there are absolutely zero amenities, I fought my battles on Harbour Island, where I was tricked into thinking there were amenities. This time of year, August and September, was notoriously lacking in the fresh produce department. The tourists head north, the restaurants and hotels shut down, and whoever remains on the island would be scraping the bottom of the chest freezer looking for some frozen peas for their nightly vegetable. If I didn't get to the store the day after the weekly supply boat came, good luck getting anything fresh. It's little things, like broccoli, that can make or break your spirit. I was known to cry on my way home from the grocery store from time to time.
I've spent the past 5 years feeling homesick for someplace that has never actually been home. Somehow I just know in my heart that it is a place I'm meant to be. Maybe not forever, but certainly for long enough to finish this house that my husband started building nearly 10 years ago. I feel like there's a reason for everything. I try to stay in-tuned to it. There's a reason we packed up and left Harbour Island to come out to this ridiculous pie-eyed project. There's a reason that the house never sold, even though it's been actively marketed as a "steal of a deal" real estate purchase for numerous years. And there's a reason we're going home. It's been a struggle, I truly hate moving. But time will tell what all these transitions will bring.
*I chose the Enso as a fitting symbol for this particular moment in my life. It is a sacred symbol in the Zen school of Buddhism and is one of the most common subjects of Japanese calligraphy. Ensō symbolizes many things including: strength, elegance, the universe, single mindedness, the state of mind of the artist at the moment of creation and the acceptance of imperfection as perfect. It also represents the oneness of life and all things contained within it, the spirit of harmonious cooperation, personal development and refinement of character, the visible and the invisible, absolute fullness in emptiness, simplicity, completeness, endlessness, perfect harmony, the circle of infinity and the cyclical nature of existence. Source